On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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