This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
