dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
