If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
