so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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