You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
