at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
