Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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