I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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