I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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