If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
