Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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