I heard we made out
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
