I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
