Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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