I could have mohawked her pubes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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