we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
