i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
