I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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