It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
