How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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