ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
