cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
