I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
