Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize