The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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