I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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