Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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