she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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