just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
