No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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