Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
