I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
