Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
