We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
