Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
