dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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