her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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