3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have fence marks all over my body
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
