Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize