Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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