lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize