Sponge bath it is.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
