Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
