can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
