Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
