Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
