Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
