and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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