i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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