Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
