How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
