somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
