Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
