..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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