Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
