I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I want to fling myself into the sun
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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