so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
